New York Toxicology experts determined that collective damage from New York neighborhood farting was a far more serious threat than the possibility of airborne asbestos from last’s weeks steam pipe explosion.
"Yes, the explosion was frightening, and brought back memories of 911, but thankfully, there was no terrorism link. We are hoping for a complete recovery for the victims of this unfortunate event," said a spokesperson from the New York Mayor’s office.
"We are focusing our attention on conventional sources of pollution that are part of the city back ground ‘noise’ because our sensors are registering no new pollutants," he continued. "People get used to their neighborhood smell, then panic in a crises, and don’t realize that it is the same old armpit that they have been sleeping with for years"
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