George Will to Publish Book of Children's Stories

Conservative commentator and author George Will has announced that he is in the midst of publishing a book of classic children's stories.

The Book, "Fable Truncation," will feature Will's brief yet brilliant interpretation of many classic children's stories, including "The Three Little Pigs":

"In summation, two of three diminutive quadrupeds and their architecturally inadequate homes succumb to excessive Canis lupis exhalation, but escape ingurgitation after cohabitating with a contemporary possessive of a structurally sound dwelling."

And what child won't be lost in wonderment after reading Will's take on Alice in Wonderland:

"It is not an abject certainty, but the likelihood that Alice was delusional must be reconnoitered as a plausible assumption. Any other verisimilitude would represent an atypical discovery."

The book will include Will's take on 20 children's classics. According to Will, "Concerning the parturiency of my omnibus, I am sanguine that fledgling homosapiens will procure interest in my extrapolation of lore handed down by progenitors for the apocryphal beguilement of their lineage."

Will's publisher, Don Truscott, president of "Chapter Eleven" books, said, "You heard what George said...this book is going to sell itself!"