When your shampoo is gone, it‘s gone. You can maybe trick it into one final watered-down curtain call by filling the bottle halfway with water and shaking. The results won‘t be appealing. Then that‘s it. The end of the bottle. That shampoo is out of your hair, your life - forever.
A tube of toothpaste refuses to finish. You squeeze it as flat as you can, only to discover there‘s at least three weeks‘ supply hiding under the cap. Toothpaste simply won‘t go away. The very morning you feel the urge to discard the tube, you can feel the contents inching its way around. So back to the medicine cabinet shelf the tube goes. There‘s an unwritten law stating you can‘t throw toothpaste away until it‘s empty.
And it rarely is. Hey, you bought it, it‘s yours. For life.
Chances are you've already noticed this, but all tubes of toothpaste contain the same quantity, regardless if marked “medium“ or “jumbo.“ This is a trick on the consumer and there‘s no way around it even if you decide to change brands or flavors.
Here are some possible ways to flatten a tube (with expected results indicated):
- Jump on it (poor results)
- Whack it with a hammer (not much better)
- Sit on it (not recommended)
- Tape it to the bottom of one of your shoes when you go jogging (as good as it gets).
The problem, of course, is even when the tube gets flattened to varying degrees, the toothpaste is still in there - waiting for you. Calling out your name.
I bought bubble gum flavored toothpaste by mistake, because it was in the display row where the mint stuff usually is. I‘ve been using this tube twice a day for 28 months and there‘s no end in sight. I've done everything but flatten it with a rolling pin, which is next on my attack list. (I realize the odds are against me.)
As always, toothpaste triumphs.
~~~~~~~
Roberta Beach Jacobson (a.k.a. The Cat Lady) is an American humorist and author. In 1974, she left suburban Chicago to explore Europe. For all of these years, she's been wandering around, map in hand, scratching her head. Can someone out there please give her directions? She makes her home in a mountainous village on a tiny Greek island. It's the sort of remote spot where animals outnumber people, although some of the animals weren't actually invited.
Follow her Cat Lady blog:
http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/catlady/
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4 comments:
Well now let me tell you, you can actually cut the tube open and get at least another years worth of toothpaste out of it. I am so sorry to bring you this news. Toothpaste does indeed triumph.
b
Aack, not more toothpaste!
Funny thoughts on toothpaste! I had a cat who used to lick it off the tube or brush and make a funny face, but she always came back the next morning.
Lucky you to live on a Greek island with so many animals!
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